if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
