Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Of course I have a pirate flag
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
