I hope mine doesn't look like that
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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