she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
