So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
