Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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