Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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