Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
