please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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