Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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