Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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