They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
