I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
