now i know why i became what i already was.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
