True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Alive.
So much puke
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
