Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
