We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
