it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So apparently I’m into choking now
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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