I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
