Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
