GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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