so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
