I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
