Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I will pee on everything he values.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
