Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
