Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
