where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
