oh god the rape fog is back!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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