I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
