Are we in a gay sports bar?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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