my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
