"it" just moved
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
