Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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