the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
