There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
