Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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