Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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