Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
