I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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