Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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