So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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