I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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