No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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