I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Randomize
