We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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