so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
As shirtless as possible
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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