Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
