Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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