Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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