with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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