Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
