I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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