he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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