Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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