kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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