yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
