Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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