this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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