That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
