I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
