im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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