..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
