that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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